I'll be okay...

The silence builds up,
But my mind won't shut up.
I scream internally,
All my emotions pour out of my heart,
And my eyes cry dry tears.
I keep everything locked up.
I close the door so you can't see,
The pain i hide,
The unspoken words,
The buried emotions.
I can't say i'm okay,
I can't shrug and say its all good,
But i can ignore your presence,
And act like i'm alone.
In a way,
You were never there to start with.
You can't lose what you never had...
So why do i feel like i misplaced something?
Like a part of me is missing?
I don't understand why i feel such pain,
But i still feel fine.
I can be normal,
But all the hurt still remains where you left it.
A dagger through the heart,
A razor through the wrist,
A lie to the ear,
A fake smile to the eyes...
I thought that i could endure it,
But i suppose i was wrong.
I never get anything right do i?
Every time i try to sort things out,
I fail.
Every time i hold onto you,
You slip away.
Every time i miss you,
I die more inside.
Every time i think of you,
I lose my mind.
Every time i remember,
I fall apart...
My heart was so open to you,
But yours was closed off.
You gave her the key,
But left me empty handed.
I tried to break in,
Tried to find a back door,
An opening,
A crack,
Something...
But i found no such thing.
Your heart was so exclusive,
I never really belonged.
I'm left outside in the cold,
The rain is pouring,
Hiding my tears.
Washing away my shame,
Washing away my pain,
Washing away my disappointment,
Washing away my sanity.
I don't need you to say a word,
So remain silent.
I don't need you to be there,
So don't move.
I don't need you to care,
So don't try.
I don't need you to love me,
So don't lie...
The silence is deadly,
But i'll work it out...