Contempt with loneliness.

I always thought of loneliness as a sad thing,
And that only that certain person could rid me from it.
But now i know that it's not always the case.
After all that has happened,
It has really opened my eyes to a lot of things.
I'm no longer looking straight ahead,
But have a new field of vision.
Before, my eyes were only set on one thing,
Now i look around and i see so many other things.
I don't think i have the right to say that i'm lonely,
After all my new discoveries.
Yes, i do wish i could have that certain someone be here with me,
But that's life.
You can't always have what you want,
And sometimes,
You could find something better.
From a certain person,
Becomes certain people.
No one could possibly replace others of course,
But you work around it.
Settling for less?
I don't think so...
Perhaps its more like settling for something that is better suited to you,
Rather than what you want.
Sometimes you're uncertain of what you want,
But perhaps what you wanted isn't anything you've ever needed.
Why waste away your days missing something you will never have,
When you could be out there having fun.
Isn't that the logical thing?
The love will always be there,
But i've realised that,
I don't miss you like i used to,
I don't mind if you're not here,
I don't need to always talk to you,
I don't have to be your number one.
With life comes great sacrifice,
If it's worth everything you have,
You go for it.
Sometimes taking a gamble is worth the risk,
Other times,
Not so much.
You could go all in,
And lose everything.
But sometimes, you might be rewarded for your efforts.
Don't dwell in things which are irrevocable and that which brings you pain,
Instead rid yourself of all the gloom,
And be happy just for the sake of being happy.
Being lonely isn't something unfortunate,
Because now i'm contempt with loneliness...

Acceptance.

The thoughts you hide,
The emotions you ignore,
The words you leave unspoken...
Don't be so stressed about covering up what you want to express.
Say what you wish,
Feel how you want,
Write what you desire.
You don't need to hide everything for my sake.
If you don't want me to know,
Then don't grant me access to what is in your heart...
I accept our past,
I accept your actions,
I accept your intentions.
I forgive you.
Of course, thinking about it bothers me,
But hey, i guess that's my own problem.
You weren't the cause for my sadness,
I was.
The choices i made were my own.
So i shouldn't ambush you with blame,
Or make excuses for myself.
We both know that i will always have that place for you in my heart,
But i guess we both have different places in life.
We won't always get along,
We won't always be at peace,
But...we won't always be at war either.
I don't necessarily need a place in your heart,
I just want to rebuild that friendship which was lost...
____________________________________________

I'm starting to see the silver lining.
I won't bother finding my old self,
Because i never really liked her in the first place.
I think i'm just going to work towards a new me,
Nothing fake of course.
Just taking what i've been through to improve myself.
Change what is changeable,
But still keeping the parts that everyone loves.
I'm not going to try and be perfect,
Because perfection is not what i'm aiming for.
I will always have my flaws,
The things people hate,
But that's what makes me, me.
And if people can't accept it,
Then they shouldn't bother accepting me at all.
Life is tough,
But it is only what you make it out to be, right?
;)

I'll be okay...

The silence builds up,
But my mind won't shut up.
I scream internally,
All my emotions pour out of my heart,
And my eyes cry dry tears.
I keep everything locked up.
I close the door so you can't see,
The pain i hide,
The unspoken words,
The buried emotions.
I can't say i'm okay,
I can't shrug and say its all good,
But i can ignore your presence,
And act like i'm alone.
In a way,
You were never there to start with.
You can't lose what you never had...
So why do i feel like i misplaced something?
Like a part of me is missing?
I don't understand why i feel such pain,
But i still feel fine.
I can be normal,
But all the hurt still remains where you left it.
A dagger through the heart,
A razor through the wrist,
A lie to the ear,
A fake smile to the eyes...
I thought that i could endure it,
But i suppose i was wrong.
I never get anything right do i?
Every time i try to sort things out,
I fail.
Every time i hold onto you,
You slip away.
Every time i miss you,
I die more inside.
Every time i think of you,
I lose my mind.
Every time i remember,
I fall apart...
My heart was so open to you,
But yours was closed off.
You gave her the key,
But left me empty handed.
I tried to break in,
Tried to find a back door,
An opening,
A crack,
Something...
But i found no such thing.
Your heart was so exclusive,
I never really belonged.
I'm left outside in the cold,
The rain is pouring,
Hiding my tears.
Washing away my shame,
Washing away my pain,
Washing away my disappointment,
Washing away my sanity.
I don't need you to say a word,
So remain silent.
I don't need you to be there,
So don't move.
I don't need you to care,
So don't try.
I don't need you to love me,
So don't lie...
The silence is deadly,
But i'll work it out...

My escape.

Day by day,
I'm slowly changing.
I've lost track of who i am,
And i'm not motivated enough to find myself again.
Everyone around me can see the old me dying out,
And a new me coming together.
I used to be a cheerful person,
Someone who's always eager to be in on the fun.
The one who joked around,
Who created happiness.
Now i barely talk,
I barely communicate.
I bury myself in books and drawings,
To distract myself from reality.
When i'm reading it seems like i get sucked into the book,
And all the problems i have disappear.
Slowly i flip through the pages,
Taking in every word,
Every detail,
Imagining what its like.
But then i hear noises,
People voices,
Peoples laughter.
My friends.
They ask me what i'm doing,
They ask what's wrong,
They ask if i'm okay.
I'm not okay,
But i stay silent,
And continue to read...
Sometimes i can't tune them out,
Which results in me moving away from my group.
I sit alone,
Flipping through pages and pages of fiction.
The pages run out,
The chapters all finished,
My novel,
This story,
Ends.
I look down at my book,
How fast i finished it,
How easily i got through it.
And i finally realised,
While reading this book,
I past through almost a whole week without caring about the time or day.
Everything else just faded away,
So did a part of me...
All i remember about the old me was the joy i used to give and feel,
Everything else,
Seems too vague or too far away.
I'm not sure who i am at the moment,
But i know i don't like it.
I don't mind being anti-social,
I don't mind not talking...
I just can't help but wonder,
How much longer it will take,
For my existence to die out.
For everyone to forget me.
For the voices i hear,
The laughter,
The fun,
To become mute silence...

Just Me, Just is.

People think i'm emo,
Just because i have my downs.
People think i'm scary,
Just because i rage.
People think i'm tank,
Just because i'm violent.
People think i'm smart,
Just because i know random facts.
People think i'm dirty,
Just because i like to joke.
People think i'm too negative,
Just because i'm not indenial.
People think i'm too serious,
Just because i don't find them funny.
People think i'm lazy,
Just because i don't do as i'm told.
People think i'm too rebellious,
Just because i couldn't care less.
People think i'm mean,
Just because i'm honest.
People think i'm nerdy,
Just because i like to read.
People think i'm only good for shuffling,
Just because its a hobby.
People think i'm good at drawing,
Just because they're shit.
People think i over-react,
Just because i'm irrational.
People think i have too much time on my hands,
Just because i waste it on nothing.
People think i'm popular,
Just because i get along with people.
People think i'm annoying,
Just because i'm loud.
People think i'm a lot of things,
Just because its me...

M2M?

7:24PM

I'm tired of the tears,
Bored with the pain.
I need to stop this feeling,
Before i go insane.
I'm letting go,
But never shall i forget.
You're the best thing,
That has happened to me yet.
I hear your footsteps,
As you're walking out the door.
I can't remember the last time,
I felt this way before.
As you're leaving,
I lose something else aswell.
A part inside of me,
That has disappeared somewhere i can't tell.
I thought losing you was bad,
But i'm losing him aswell.
I don't know what to say,
You two are the best i've ever had.
The smiles and laughter were endless,
But i guess it all gone.
Here i stand,
Friendless...

Mason, you don't need me. "Aslong as i have you, i am happy". So if you have "her" you will be happy. I'm very angry at you, because you really do take back everything you say. You can do whatever you want with your life Mason. Who am i to tell you what to do. But i just hate being lied to. Because i feel cheap, used and incredibly stupid. I'm not leaving you, i just don't see why i should stay. I'm a third party bystander. I said we could be friends, and we can. But seriously, whats the point? One minute i might run across your mind, and maybe you'll think you care, but soon after i won't mean a thing...

Mykool, our friendship was held together by happiness. I dealt with you when you were upset about her, and you're dealing with me now. But the happiness has died out and there is nothing left to keep us together, and nothing to stop us from parting. Though there is nothing wrong, why do we keep drifting? Though you deny it, i am slowly being replaced by everyone else. All of the other girls you talk to play a certain part of me. I can't say i want you to be here forever, because forever seems too long to be true. But i just want to say how much you mean to me and how much i'm scared...

I'm not a toy...

A little boy walks past a toy store,
He can't help but notice a simple yet appealing teddy bear sitting in the window display box.
His bright eyes light up, and the biggest smile appears on his eager face.
"Mummy, i want it! can i have it?".
The mother looks down on her pleading son,
"Maybe another day sweetheart."
The next day they walk down the same street,
"Mummy can i get it now?"
The mother gives in to his persistence,
And purchases this teddy bear.
Cha-Ching.
The cash register sounds,
Signalling the deal,
The trade.
Money for a teddy bear.
The little boy is overjoyed.
Everyday he plays with this teddy bear,
And cares for it more than anything.
His infatuation with the bear grew and grew til it was outgrown.
A week pasts,
And the teddy bear is falling apart and dirty from him constantly playing with it.
The little boy leaves the bear on the floor,
Completely disinterested,
He forgets about it.
One day the mother comes home with a firetruck,
And the boy throws out the teddy bear as if it meant nothing.
And just like that,
The bear was left in the trash,
Abandoned,
A mess,
Alone.
It no longer existed in the little boys life,
Nor in his heart.
The firetruck is all that matters now.
A bright, red, shiny firetruck is much more appealing than an old, ragged up bear isn't it?
When the boy sleeps at night,
Will the firetruck be comfortable in his bed?
When the boy is sad,
Will the firetruck be satisfactory to hold?
When the boy needs a hug,
Will the firetruck be soft and warm enough?
When the boy is done with the firetruck,
Will he remember the bear?...


When you're so caught up with something,
You forget everything else that is around you.
Memories fade,
If not, are forgotten.
But after all the things you said,
"I love you...don't leave me"...
You could throw me away so easily without hesitation.
I'm not a toy,
You can't just leave me like that when you find something new and are bored of me.
"Why not? I can do whatever i want, get over it."
Because i'm a person,
Not a possession.
You can't do whatever you want,
Because there are always consequences and you can't continue living so selfishly as if you're the center of the universe. You might have been the center of my universe but now you're nothing but a tiny, distant planet.
I tried holding on,
But i guess i'm too weak.
I am over it,
And i'm over you...
Just don't keep reminding me that i'm nothing,
Because unlike you...
I'm the one who hurts.

Just like the bear,
I'm all used up...
But with a little cleaning up and stitching,
I'll be all good,
Perhaps good enough for someone else...

Guilty.

Guilty of not making it through...

Historical scripts written by your hand,
Are re-read and taken in.
So much evidence of anger and hate,
The test of love came through as a negative.
Another person was involved with this,
Her finger prints found on your heart.

Your words are proven to be lies,
With every crime you committed,
You're left without objections.
Your accomplice,
She stole your heart,
Did she not?
"She did".
Or was is that you gave it to her?
"Objection!".
Denied.

The victim,
Do you have any last words to say?
"I miss you, is that okay? We tried our best but in the end things didn't go our way. Love, i wish you never existed"...
With all the elements that support our case,
The jury voted against us.
So much was objected,
We had nothing left to throw back in defense.
Sentenced with a year of pain and tears.
To never be loved,
And to watch as the one you want,
Moves on with someone else.
The Gavel is set down,
A loud yet subtle sound emerges as the decision is made.
This case is dead,
And so are we, the guilty.
Winner: Broken love.

Alone in a crowded room.

I was talking to my friend today and he mention his fear of being alone,
And it made me think, "What does it mean to be alone, and what does it mean to belong?"

If we all have friends,
People we share precious moments with,
People we trade smiles and laughter with,
People we share sadness and distress with,
People who are just there...
How can we be alone?
Why is it that we feel alone in a crowded room?
Is it the fact that we feel we don't belong?
But what is belonging?
Everywhere we go,
People judge.
Everyone does it.
Hating those who judge,
Is judging itself.
People these days judge others for the little things,
Like how they dress,
How they wear their hair,
How they spend their days,
How they live life...
So how can we fully belong anywhere?
Another sudden thought...
What happens when we really don't fit in?
When we feel we are rejected for being who we are,
We move onto our first instinct,
Lying and acting.
I believe that lying and acting to find your place in life just isn't real.
You can try to be perfect all you want,
But is it all worth it?
Sometimes we do have a place where we belong,
But i guess we just choose not to.
There is a difference between being left out,
And choosing to not take part.
There is always a choice.
If we make a wrong choice,
We regret.
If we make the right choice,
We still suffer from "what if's".
The human mind can never get what it wants,
And what it needs is never enough.
I know that everything we've ever wanted,
Isn't anything we have.
So what does is mean to be alone?
I think that some people choose to be alone,
But we can't help but want the opposite.
When we're alone,
We're forced to feel lonely.
When we belong,
We're forced to want privacy.

When we're lonely,
And wish to be with the one who cures such misfortune,
What if the person we wish to find salvage in,
Isn't there?
Is that the meaning of being alone?...

Moving on.

Through all the pain,
I've really grown.
Over time, i've become so strong that nothing really matters.
No matter how much it hurts,
It won't stop me from living my life.

You tripped me,
And i fell for you.
Every fall,
Every bruise,
Every cut,
Every scar...
I fought on my own.
I helped myself up,
I helped myself heal,
I helped myself brush it off.

Fall,
After fall,
After fall.
I brought myself from my knees to my feet.
With some support from here and there,
I was able to stand up.
But each time i fell,
I always searched for your hand,
Because i wished for you to pull me up.
But that hand never appeared,
So i fought on my own once again...

Trip.
Fall.
I look up,
And see your hand reaching for mine.
For once in my life i was able to feel such hope,
Such satisfaction.
Just as i'm about to reach out,
You pull away...
An instant stinging sensation strikes my heart,
And it skips a beat.
For that moment it pained more than anything in this world,
But gradually the pain numbed.

I slowly put my hand down,
And help myself up...
Back to my feet,
Chin up,
Smile,
Keep walking...

After falling for the same traps time in time out,
I know i will never fall again.
And never will i have to drag myself up on my own.
One day i'll find the person i'm looking for,
The one willing to reach out to me,
The one that doesn't play childish games,
And the one who can say "i love you" without taking it back...

Let go of the past and the people who hold you back.
Everything that matters loses meaning after a while.
Think of regrets as the last mistake you'll ever make.
When you're torn into two, glue yourself back together.
When the pieces are broken, walk off and leave them on the floor.
If you love someone who doesn't return the favour...
Then live with it...
When everything is wrong; move along.

_________________________________

Just wanted to mention my new song obsession :)
Another Heart Calls - The All-American Rejects

Its about this guy right and he's talking to his love from the past that he left.
"As deep as I need you, you wanna leave it all". - Girl
There is another girl in the picture, but the guy is contemplating whether he should be with his past love or this other girl.
"Another heart calls"...
"This could be the last mistake that I would ever wanna do". - Boy.
The girl from the past wants to know what he wants.
"What can I do? - Boy
"Say it's true" - Girl
"Or everything that matters breaks in two". - Boy
The girl wants to know that what he feels towards her is true, because he left her in the past and is after commitment.
"I'm sorry" - Boy
"So what?" - Girl
"But you don't think I've said enough" - Boy
"I'm sorry" - Boy
"I don't care" - Girl
"You were never there" - Girl
They argue.
But in the end he chooses his past love.
"Say it's true" - Girl
"I'll never ask for anyone but you". - Boy

xx

At the moment

6:32PM

Mood: Pensive, annoyed, betrayed

Songs that explain how i feel right now:

Pain - Jhene Aiko
Footprints On My Heart - Paula Deanda


I'm drowning away my sadness with music, though the rhythm fuels my emotions.
Its not good to keep thinking about everything, but i can't help it.
I feel angry, yet calm.
I feel hate, yet love.
I feel lied to, yet so honest...

Tell me how i'm supposed to feel,
Because right now i have no idea...
You don't feel any pain do you?
I've done you a favour and taken in the impact.
You lead me all this way,
Just to leave me stranded.
I can't help but question why...
Why would you go to all that trouble just to talk to me,
To spend time with me,
Just to leave me in the end?
Why would you come back,
If in the end we're just back where we started?
Why do you leave me empty handed,
After letting me wait for a whole year?
Why does it hurt so much,
Yet you feel nothing?
Why am i only able to forget for only a moment,
Before the pain kicks in again?
Why am i so hopeless when it comes to you,
Yet you're so composed and in control?
Why're you able to move on without a care,
While i'm stuck in the same corner?
Why do my eyes flood with tears,
While yours are completely dry?
Why would you say 'i love you',
When those words are followed by 'i love her'?
Why did you play me...
Why did i let you play me...

8:05 PM

Mood: Neutral

You've really turned me off...
I think i can let go this time.
The pain may still be there,
But i'll pretend it doesn't hurt...

I really do wish for us to be friends though,
That i'm certain of...
Lets try our best yea?

Meaning behind words with melody.

It's 8.44AM, Sunday Morning, 11/10/09

hehe what a funny date :3

Anyways, i'm at work and i'm typing this on my phone. I guess i just needed to clear my mind, and to kill my boredom i suppose.

Current mood: Tired, lonely, used, foolish.

At the moment i'm listening to Break Even - The Script.

This song holds so much meaning, it relates quite well with how i feel and the situation i'm in.
When relationships end, there will always be someone who hurts more than the other. The one that hurts most, is the one who tried the hardest and loved the most.
Its strange how the one who put their everything into something is the one left behind.
But i suppose thats just how life is,
Unfair.

Breathe - Lee Carr

This song is about how this person can't live without the other. "You're the reason that i breathe".
I suppose this song is in my perspective, only with minor differences.
Is it silly to feel this strongly about someone?
I mean, what causes us to feel this way?
What makes us love?
I suppose thats just how life is,
Full of unanswered questions.

Back Track - Lil Eddie

This song reminds me of him. I think he listened to it aswell.
Its about going back to fill in on everything they missed out on. Trying to find the missing pieces of the puzzle.
In order to stay together, there can't be any blanks or blind spots.
For things to work out, both sides must try.
To succeed you must sacrafice things along the way.
You can win a battle,
But you could lose the war.
I suppose thats how life is,
Full of hardships.

Blink - The Connect

One of my favourite songs. It explains and portrays so much about how i feel and the things i question.
Its about the other person making up their mind on what they want before "I'm" gone. It questions what they're looking for. They say they want to find love, but the love has always been here. In a blink of an eye, you could lose everything you've ever wanted. "Because i just might be gone if you blink".
I suppose thats how life is,
Full of decisions and choices.

Circle - Marques Houston

This song is about going around in circles with someone. After they're long gone you still think of them. Even with new relationships and experiences you can't help but think they're haunting you.
"Somebody get me out of this circle".
No matter how hard you try, your mind just runs back to that someone and the memories you have.
After the fights are through you end up with that person again. Repeat.
All you want is to end the constant cycle but you just can't.
"And i'm back where i started, you're back in my life".
I suppose thats how life is,
Repetitive.

Complicated - Nivea

This song represents everything i used to think and feel...
Listen to it...
Pretty self-explanatory.

Life...
Filled with one-sided love.

9.29AM

Mood: Tired, nostalgic, missing you...

Now listening to "Don't tell me it's over - Deepside."

xx

The end.

Do you understand how i feel?
I'm sure you don't.
I put my everything into you,
I sacrificed my time,
My pride,
My friends,
My heart...
All just to be with you.
I've given up so much,
And in the end,
You return me with broken promises,
Broken dreams,
Shattered memories,
False hope,
A bucket load of tears,
And a broken heart...
I suppose this has become a life routine for me,
But i'm tired of following this plan.
I want out...

I don't understand why you must keep hurting me.
You lead me into believing that i actually meant something to you...
Every moment we shared,
Every smile we exchanged,
Every word,
Every touch,
Every kiss...
A lie.
Baby we were over,
You should've just left it that way...
You say you missed me,
But you don't have to right to.
With the way we are,
Who is there to blame?
You, for being so indecisive on what you want,
Me, for being so pitiful.
I let you walk all over me like i'm nothing,
And i actually accept it.
Where is my dignity?
My own self-respect?
Its over there,
Under your foot...

I feel like i've wasted a whole year of my life,
When i could've been out there having fun.
But in the end,
I still don't regret waiting for you,
I don't regret taking you back,
I don't regret choosing you,
I don't regret loving you...
I guess the only thing i regret is,
Not being able to keep a hold of you.
I held on so tight,
But you managed to slip away...

I don't think i can face you anymore.
Today i saw you with her,
I saw how happy you were to be near her,
And for the rest of the day,
Images of you and her kept repeating in my head,
Like a song stuck on replay...

I watched the sunset at my favourite location today,
But there was nothing to watch go down...
Just like you,
The sun wasn't there...
I always thought of you as my sun,
But now you're elsewhere,
The sun in the sky couldn't be seen either...
Irony.
At the end of the day,
You disappeared,
Just like the sun...
Now my world is dark and cold.
How lonely.

The Princess sits by herself in the cold castle walls,
Waiting for her true Prince Charming to come and save her...

The end.

Love is a Battlefield.

Everyone seems to be pulling me in the opposite direction of you,
And you and me both know that i'll never listen to them.
But i'm left to think,
What if i'm wrong?

Every time we fall apart,
It seems one of us just has to crawl back to the other every chance we get.
Is it normal for people to fight endless battles,
And just surrender time after time?
Can this war truly be won if we just keep running back?

Instead of giving in to the other,
I want to be able to negotiate,
To work things out.
That way we won't have to return to this awful place,
And during all the time we spend placing blame,
We could be having the time of our lives.

The only thing keeping us from ending this feud,
Is understanding.
Its hard enough trying to understand anything you say or feel,
Let alone have you change your mind every second.
One minute you'd say one thing,
And the next you're saying the complete opposite.

I'm happy with believing what you say,
But i'd be happier if those words stayed,
Rather than be replaced with something totally different.
Then again, I suppose its just what you're feeling right?
I don't want to force you to feel something towards me,
I don't need to be your whole world...
I just wish to be a part of it.

I don't need you to say "i love you",
I don't need you to keep me happy with fake words,
Fake emotions,
Fake relationships.
I don't need you to be something you're not.
I don't need you to win this war...
This war is for both of us...
I don't need you to fight alone,
Because whether you need me or not,
I'm always here...
Waiting for a chance to prove myself.
But a soldier without a goal,
Or a sense of meaning,
Is just someone fighting without a cause...

Give me a reason for being.

I love you,
But is that enough to hold us together?

Our Fairytale...Ch.2

It seems the Prince in this tragic fairytale,
Has lost his way.
The Princess stays inside the cold, castle walls,
Waiting for his return.
She thinks about him every second of every day,
Longing to be in his arms again.
With the time and space the Prince has left her with,
Memories and thoughts crowd her mind.
Everything that escapes her thoughts,
Is a doubt,
Followed by words of hope,
That contradict everything she thinks.
"He won't return,"
"But maybe his heart will persevere and show him the way."
"Maybe he doesn't love me enough to come back,"
"Maybe he loves me so much he's left confused."
"He can't see himself with me anymore,"
"Maybe he's just afraid to admit to himself that he's found that one person."
"What if we've reached the finish line?"
"But what if the race hasn't even started?"
These constant contradictions repeat over and over again.
Is there no end to this madness?
"Come back soon fair Prince..."

In the meanwhile,
The Prince is battling his way through the dark, frightful, fortress of broken hearts.
So many events and people delay his journey back to the Princess,
But mostly his own confusion and doubts.
Fear keeps him from continuing his journey,
And compunction keeps him from loving the Princess.
The Prince also has many contradictions,
But rather the opposite of what the Princess thinks.
His thoughts are of what his heart speaks,
Followed by doubts from his mind.
"I should hurry back to the Princess,"
"But maybe i should take my time."
"She'll be happy if i'm with her,"
"Perhaps i'm not good enough to protect her."
"I love her more than anything,"
"Maybe i'm just caught up in the moment."
"We could make it to the end together,"
"Maybe we should just give up now"
The Prince contemplates on what he wants,
And what he think is best.
"I'm sorry my Princess, please wait for me..."

Perhaps this Prince isn't the Prince Charming he was destined to be in this tragic fairytale,
But the Princess could argue over that.
He's a fool,
But the Princess knows she couldn't love anyone less foolish...

To be continued...

Project Modify: Update

Hello there fellow bloggers.
Remember my "project modify" blog about me making personal alterations?
Well,
Just keeping you updated.

-Stop swearing - No improvements =.="
-Stop being angry - I am a lot more happy so i have no reasons to be angry :D
-Learn to not take everything so seriously - Yea pretty much going with the flow and being apathetic
-Forget about "him" - I don't need to forget him anymore :3
-Learn to fake a smile - Don't need to fake a smile :)
-Study more - Small improvement.
-Learn to be selfless - I can tick this one ;D
-Stop raging at people for inadequate reasons - Tick
-Be more considerate - Not sure about this one =/ i think i already am =.=" so uhh tick?

New things to add to my list:
-Have a functioning relationship
-Be more feminine
-Figure out what i want to be when i finish high school
-Be less needy

:)

Our Fairytale...Ch. 1

Today is the first day of a new month.
This is where our new chapter begins...

When we thought our story had ended,
Another sequel is set to come out.
The day is coming to an end,
And so is this one chapter.
Slowly making our way to the bottom of the page,
With one last line left to write...
"And the boy stood there like a statue, however this time, the girl stood next to him. Together they stood, until the spell wares off and they're separated again..."
With hidden meanings,
To only be understood by the author of this fairytale.
The author being,
The voices of our collaborated hearts.
Hopefully our story,
Will last a bit longer and contain more happiness than the previous.
Hopefully its not as limited as Cinderella's pumpkin,
Or as fatal as Snow whites apple.
Perhaps this tragic fairytale that our hearts write,
Will have a happy ending...