You escaped my view...

Today, i watched the sunset at the top of the carpark.
My favourite thing to do,
At my favourite location.
But today, the sunset seemed more beautiful than usual.
I'm not sure if it was the actual sight that was beautiful,
Or if it was because of the person i was with.

As per usual,
My gaze was mostly set on the clouds.
The sun, i could barely see.
I suppose it was hiding away behind the clouds.
After a while,
The sun fought its way past the clouds,
And together,
They formed a scene too beauteous for a mere mortals eyes to embrace.
A grey sky, turned orange, yellow, pink, purple and blue.
And i had a sudden thought...
Perhaps you're the sun,
And i'm the cloud.
I'm blocking your way,
Making sure you barely exist.
And you're trying to shine through my efforts,
Trying to get through to me.
Maybe if i let you in,
We could also form something beautiful,
Something more magical than we ever could if we were separated.

I didn't see you today,
But apparently you were there.
The slight mention of your name,
And your presence,
Made my heart bleed...
And after a while,
My eyes joined in.
Together they bled bloody crystal tears.
How could i not see you?...
Have i become more blind?
Have you changed that much in physical appearance?
Or was it because, for once in my life,
You weren't in my thoughts...

I never realised how broken i can be,
Thinking about how much i miss you,
And how i just crumble when you're around.
How can i get rid of this feeling?
This feeling of longing to see you,
If i can't even look at you,
Without pouring my eyes out?

When i'm with him,
I don't think of you.
But when i'm reminded,
My mind comes crawling back to our memories,
And i become trapped in your web again...
Should i let myself forget?
Should i just act like this scar on my heart doesn't exist?
That there is no pain?
That you don't exist?
Or should i keep holding onto you even when we're past our goodbyes...
What do you want me to do?...
Help.