Game over.

My doors are shut,
My room is locked,
My heart is no longer open.
I want to keep everyone and everything away from me.
Remembering you,
Makes me painfully aware of how powerless i am.
I don't want to think about you,
Because it makes me regret so much.
These question which i ask,
Are results of my own uselessness.
I don't understand why the pain feels so fresh.
I've given up,
I've let go,
But why?
Why won't this pain go away?
Yet again,
Another futile question.
I want to hate you,
I want to blame you,
So i don't have to feel so bad about myself.
But when i try to hate,
When i try to blame,
It just cuts me even deeper,
And in the end,
I'm just hurting myself.
Perhaps its me that's running away from you,
Running to a far away place where you can't hurt me.
I want you to search,
To find me.
If you do,
I'll forgive everything.
I don't want to be alone anymore.
My head and my heart are contradicting each other.
My head is telling me to forget,
But my heart won't stop loving you.
How can i hate someone i loved so dearly?
I'm trying so hard for something so futile.
Its already game over,
But i keep trying to overcome this level.
I'm falling,
I'm failing,
Fatality.
Its game over once again.