Cycle of pain.

I'm driving myself insane.
I always have to get ahead of myself,
And my expectations just run wild.
For once in a very long time i thought that this hate cycle broke,
But its back and continues to circulate.
I thought that since you came back,
Life would keep rising as it did.
But i guess its plummeting now.
Your eyes are no longer on me,
But wonder and stare at others.
Unfortunately my eyes won't look away from you,
And im stuck with this one-sided love for eternity.
I guess it was always like this,
Ever since the start.
I know i shouldn't be affected by this,
Because i've been through it,
More than once,
More than twice,
More than a hundred times.
Why am i so surprised?
This is how a cycle is meant to work right?
I can't stop getting hurt and expecting the same things,
Because there is no end to this.
And my heart won't let me move on,
My eyes refuse to stop gazing at you,
My mind won't stop thinking about you.
Everything of mine is so accustomed to you.
I hate this feeling,
It pains me ever so much.
But what hurts the most,
Is not being the only one by your side,
Not being the only one you love,
Not knowing that i'm loved by you at all,
Not being able to stop loving you.
This love i have for you,
Is so strong that i can't even fathom whether,
It will ever be malleable.