Chasing up on history.

I was reflecting back on my life,
And i realised that i mainly struggle with people walking in and out of my life.
I'm sure everyone has had this experience,
And i'm sure you would agree that it sucks.
I'm sad that people leave and abandon me in time of need,
but what happens when they wish to return?
I don't know if my heart is willing to forgive them,
And accept them anymore.
No matter how much i miss and love them,
The fact that they left without a care,
Causes the stubborn parts of me to show.
And all the reasonable parts in me to hide.
So where should i go from here if such a thing happens?
I'm telling myself that i'd never be able to forgive,
But it feels like i'm dying from being away from them.
People tell me that if i truly value them,
I'd be able to forgive,
Because they're worth letting go,
Because they're everything to me.
But is that all there is to it?
I'm afraid i'll run a million miles away to avoid their return.
Why would you return now, after all this time?
Why?
I think i have no choice but to surrender and forgive,
But i keep trying to fight back.
I've raised my white flag,
But continue to shoot.
I keep procrastinating,
But i want this to be over and done with.
I suppose the main point i'm trying to make is that,
If you return,
Don't expect my heart to open upto you again,
Because at the moment,
Its on lock down.
But please know,
I still love you,
And i doubt i'll ever stop.
However,
I think its too late for you to come back to me,
You've chosen your path,
Just keep moving forward like you were,
Don't look back.
Though i won't be there to greet you in the future,
I've already said my goodbyes in the past.