Wearing your emotions.

When someone hurts us,
We try to hide the hurt we feel from the one who caused us the pain.
Our pride stands in the way of showing how we truly feel,
Because we don't want to show how weak we become.
But when it comes to me,
I don't really seem to mind.
Everything i feel i post publicly,
If not, i just wear my emotions on my face.
Perhaps that creates an advantage to those who are wanting to hurt me,
Because then they'd know what would cause me to break.
But even with knowing that,
I don't really care.
A lot of people have seen how pitiful i can be sometimes,
And i'm okay with it.
My vulnerability is something i accept.
Of course, it's always easier to lie and act,
Rather than facing all the judgmental eyes out there.
But if you're able to stand it, then why care?
I complain a lot about my life,
So i guess that explains why i write so many blogs.
Its not that i'm after attention or sympathy,
It's just something i'm used to.
I'm an open person,
And i don't mind sharing how i feel and what i'm thinking.
Sometimes it's not really that i'm complaining,
I'm just searching for an answer.
Perhaps i'd come across someone who had more to offer than just "it's okay".
Because sometimes...
It's not okay.
We all put up walls around us,
Some form of defense.
It's to prevent unnecessary damage.
But no matter how many walls i build,
No matter how much armor i'm protected by,
I can still feel all the pain,
Like daggers through my chest.
Why is that so?
Some people can brush it off all too easily,
But with me,
I can feel it...
You see,
Armour and protection can only do so much.
Its the person behind it that counts.
What good is being protected if you can't even defend yourself?
Your defense system is there to absorb some of the impact,
You are the one who possesses true strength.
So perhaps i possess none,
Perhaps i do deep down.
But even so, with every fatal attack,
I die a little more.
I give away so many chances for people to hurt me,
And they take it.
Just as how i take their hits.
Most aim for my insecurity,
Some aim for my heart...
We all feel pain,
Its a result of our emotions.
But we all react differently to it.
Some are stoic,
Others more depressed.
It doesn't matter how you show it.
Deep down we all know what its like to hurt.
I suppose i should try to grow more as a person,
To increase my strength.
But i know there's strength within me,
I once used to be the type to be unbreakable.
I've been through countless things,
And that has helped me to grow...
But i don't know.
There comes a time when you're unable to be around certain people,
So talking about them makes you feel a little more comfortable.
Its like a remedy to numb the feeling you get when you're missing someone.
Sometimes, its the closest thing you'll ever get to being with them...
As fictional as it might be,
It makes you feel better.
So sure, you can feed your pride by acting like you're okay,
Or you can just let your emotions pour out and feel a little closer to the one who's so far away...