Randomosity.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009
10:13AM

I'm currently at home;Study leave.
My exam starts in 3 hours.
I really should be studying but i have no motivation to right now...

Anyways...
I don't really write much in my blogs anymore, well things about how i am and what i'm feeling anyways.
Sometimes there is a lot that i would like to post, but certain things refrain me from it.
I suppose i'm afraid of notifying certain people about what is on my mind.
After all, some words are better off left unspoken, right?
Its better if i keep things to myself, in order to sustain the happiness of others around you.
Just a word could ruin everything.
I do not want to soil such happiness.
Though i am not happy myself, its comforting seeing that certain person so giddy about life.
I feel kind of silly...
I'm so confused on what i feel to be honest.
One minute i'm fine,
The next i'm crying.
One minute i'm angry,
The next i couldn't care less...
These mood swings are driving me crazy,
I don't know what to do or think anymore...


So many things circle my mind,
It swims around in my train of thought.
I wish i could escape somewhere where these thoughts and questions can't reach me.
I just want answers...
But i know i will never obtain such things to calm my stressed mind.
My heart aches secretly,
Deep down i can feel my heart tugging.
Why won't it just go away?
I'm trying to keep myself together,
But i just keep falling apart.
How much longer will this drag on?
Letting go is one thing,
But what happens when you find yourself holding on again?
Geez...
What's wrong with me?
I'm mentally slapping myself,
Get out of this.
Sigh...

I've tried so many things to heal myself,
To sooth this burning sensation in my heart,
But no cures have come through...
Left to suffer without a soul out there to care.
Such a pitiful person i am.
I can't help but laugh.
I shake my head at how pathetic everything is.
A humorous display of a broken person...

There's no one here,
I'm talking to myself...
Do you think you ever cross his mind?
Probably not, his thoughts are elsewhere i suppose.
Are you okay with that?
Ehh, more or less.
How did things turn out this way?
I don't really know. Life's full of surprises.
Don't you miss him?
Always, but what can you do?
I don't know, i'm the one asking questions here.
My bad...

=.="
Okay, i think its time to study now...

Until next time ;D